Episode 206: Making Ethical Non-Monogamy Work

In recent years, the term “ethical non-monogamy” has gone mainstream. But what does it actually mean to be ethically non-monogamous? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re also going to explore some common myths and misconceptions about it, tips for making ethically non-monogamous relationships work, as well as red flags to look out for. I am joined once again by Leanne Yau, also known as Poly Philia. She is a polyamory educator and sex-positive social media influencer, creating and curating humorous and educational memes, tips, videos, and other bite-size content on non-monogamy, queer relationships, and sex positivity. She was named #1 in Cosmopolitan’s “10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok.” She is currently in training to become a polyamory-friendly therapist. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What does it mean for non-monogamy to be “ethical?” What do the terms “one-penis policy” and “unicorn hunting” mean? And why are they red flags in the world of non-monogamy? How can an overemphasis on fairness lead to a competitive dynamic in polyamory? Can polyamory be ethical regardless of whether it’s hierarchical or non-hierarchical? How can individuals establish healthy and workable non-monogamy agreements? Make sure to check out Leanne’s website, and connect with her on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.