Episode 209: When You Want Less Sex Than Your Partner

In long-term sexual relationships, partners aren’t always on the same page about sex. This is normal. However, when a sexual desire discrepancy becomes large and persistent, it can become a significant source of conflict and distress. So let’s talk about how to navigate desire discrepancies. This is the first episode in a two-part series on the subject. Today, we’re going to discuss what to do when you’re the one who wants less sex. In the next episode, we’re going to talk about the flipside: what to do when you’re the partner who wants more sex. My guest is Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy, a licensed psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist. She is the co-author of the forthcoming book, Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships. Her co-author of this book, Jennifer Vencill, will join me for the next episode. Some of the topics we discuss include: How common are sexual desire discrepancies? What are some of the factors that can negatively affect libido and lead to a decline in sexual desire? What does it really mean to have “low libido?” Is your libido actually low, or does it just seem low compared to your partner? What are some strategies for reconnecting with your partner when dealing with low libido? What is sensate focus, and how can it be helpful in dealing with a sexual desire discrepancy? To learn more, make sure to check out Lauren’s website and connect with her on Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.