THE FRIENDSHIP FORMULA

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00:00:35 The Friendship Formula is a simple framework for building and maintaining strong friendships.

00:07:04 The Friendship Formula

00:09:13 Dr. Jack Schaefer, former FBI agent and author of The Like Switch, has a theory that might have the answer.

00:19:04 How to Use Schaefer's formula to Your Benefit

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• Dr. Jack Schafer’s “friendship formula” is as follows: Friendship = Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity. Friendship will develop according to the sum of all these four elements. That means that one element can be relatively weak if another compensates by being extra strong.

• Building friendships is about fostering increasing closeness—i.e., proximity. Greater frequency also means a stronger chance of friendship developing. The more frequently you engage with someone, the more they feel like part of your world. Friendship takes time to build, so greater duration of time spent together means greater chance of friendship. Finally, it matters how well you’re able to satisfy another person’s needs during any social interaction. The more you can, the better the chance of striking up a friendship.

• When making friends, deliberately find ways to increase proximity and the duration, frequency, and intensity of your interactions with people, in that order. Go slow!

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