#65_Teaching Anxious Kids They Can handle It, with Dr. Allie Morford

“We don't want to remove all the obstacles your kids are going to go through. We want to teach them that they can handle whatever obstacles come their way, even if they are feeling anxious.” When your child is anxious, the instinct to reassure, rescue, or remove the stressor feels like love. But according to Dr. Allie Morford, licensed clinical psychologist and Assistant Professor in Child Psychiatry at the University of Colorado School of Medicine, that instinct can accidentally teach anxiety that it's in charge. I am Dr. Shelly Mahon, your host, and in this episode Dr. Allie Morford breaks down how to tell the difference between everyday worry and an anxiety disorder, why OCD in kids is so often mistaken for being neat or organized, and how exposure therapy, including Exposure with Response Prevention for OCD, actually works. We also dig into one of her specialties: School accommodations, what makes them genuinely helpful, which ones quietly reinforce avoidance, and how parents and schools can build a plan to reduce them over time. About Our Guest Dr. Allie Morford, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and Assistant Professor in Child Psychiatry at the University of Colorado School of Medicine. She specializes in the assessment and treatment of anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder in children and teens, and completed a child psychology fellowship in Anxiety and OCD at Children's Hospital Colorado. Her clinical work covers anxiety, worry, panic attacks, phobias, OCD, parent coaching, and broader mental health and behavior concerns in children and adolescents. In This Episode, We Cover: What draws a clinician to specialize in childhood anxiety and OCD How to tell the difference between normal "worrier" behavior and an anxiety disorder How anxiety shows up differently across ages and stages of development The physical, behavioral, and cognitive signs of anxiety in kids, through a CBT lens Common misconceptions about OCD in children (it's not about being neat) Why OCD shows up, and what it actually looks like day to day Why reassurance, rescuing, and removing stressors can make anxiety stronger over time The difference between validating a feeling and agreeing with the anxious thought What exposure therapy is and why it works for anxiety and OCD Exposure with Response Prevention (ERP) as a treatment for OCD What makes a school accommodation genuinely helpful vs. accidentally reinforcing avoidance How parents and schools can work as a team when anxiety affects attendance, tests, presentations, separation, or participation Building a plan to reduce or remove accommodations over time "Supportive statements" parents can use in the moment: "I know this is hard for you, and I know you can handle this" Why removing blame and shame from parenting matters in this work Other Lines Worth Remembering: “We never want to get rid of anxiety. It's a really healthy emotion for us to have. But we are looking for when it becomes the thing driving the bus or making decisions for kids.” “You're never going to have 100% certainty, but you can control something.” “Parents are not the problem, but they are a huge part of the solution.” Resources Mentioned & Related Reading: Allie Morford: faculty profile, University of Colorado School of Medicine The Rosenberry Conference: Pediatric Anxiety: Children's Hospital Colorado CE conference where Dr. Morford was faculty, covering exposure with response prevention (ERP) and evidence-based anxiety treatment SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions): The parent-based treatment program developed by Dr. Eli Lebowitz at the Yale Child Study Center, referenced in your notes as "Dr Ellie Lebawits" Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents by Eli R. Lebowitz: His most popular parent-facing book, and the closest match to this episode's themes Treating Childhood and Adolescent Anxiety: A Guide for Caregivers by Eli R. Lebowitz and H